70th birthday jokes funnies

58. My father told my grandmother every day that she needs a new hearing aid, but she would not listen. 59. Grandma accidentally spilled some milk on the rug while making some milkshakes. It was a pour decision. 60. My grandmother was a Math teacher.

25/06/2022 ... It's not always easy to come up with the perfect thing to say on a birthday card. This list of 70th Birthday Wishes will help you find the ...Check out our 70th birthday joke selection for the very best in unique or custom, handmade pieces from our shops.May He be by your side every step of the way on this special day, and every day. Happy Birthday, brother! On your birthday, I pray to Jesus for your health and happiness for your year ahead. I hope you have a blessed day. May your birthday be blessed with His presence and grace.Happy 70th birthday. Happy 70th birthday! You don’t look a day above sixty if we go by looks. May you continue to live a happy and healthy life for an eternity. Wishing you the best for the coming years! I pray for your good health and long life on your 70th birthday. Happy birthday! 70 years passed away so silently!Lighthearted Anniversary Quotes. "Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one." -Anonymous. "Spouse: Someone who'll stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single." -Unknown.HOW TO WRITE A WITTY & HEARTFELT 70TH BIRTHDAY. Well, much as you'd approach writing any other speech: Brainstorm - go back over old memories for all the content you'll ever need. Connect your stories with a theme - find a common motif to link anecdotes together. Don't go on and on - you never need more than 8 minutes.This item: Funny 70th Birthday Cards for Men Women - Your Sixties Have Expired - Happy Birthday Card for Him Her Great Grandad Grandpa Grandma Granny, 5.7 x 5.7 Inch Banter Joke Humour Bday Greeting Cards Gift . $6.99 $ 6. 99. Get it as soon as Tuesday, May 23. Only 4 left in stock - order soon.

Funny 70th Birthday Card, Cat Lover Birthday Card, 70th Birthday Gift for Women Men, Cat Mom or Cat Dad Birthday Gift, Crazy Cat Lady Card (522) $ 4.99. Add to Favorites ... Funny Joke 70 Year Old Action Figure Posable Jointed Doll Motif with Slogans For 70th Birthday Anniversary Greeting Card Size A6 or A5Here are some 70th funny birthday card messages: 70 and still rocking, just a bit more gently! 70 is the new 50… in Celsius! Age 70: where ‘getting lucky’ means finding your glasses. 70 years young and …From $3.29. 70 and Fabulous Happy 70th Birthday Greeting Card. By zanydoodles. From $2.10. Top Funny 70th Birthday Still Fabulous Gift Design Greeting Card. By LGamble12345. From $3.20. Its My 70th Birthday The One Where Im Quarantined Social Distancing Gifts Greeting Card. By AnimaLovers.However, some birthday memes can be considered inappropriate due to their graphic or obscene nature. While there is nothing inherently wrong with birthday memes, it is essential to be mindful of their content before sending them to others. Inappropriate birthday memes can cause offense or distress, so it is always best on the side of caution.Birthday Jokes. Birthdays are nature's way of telling us to eat more cake. Forget about the past, you can't change it. Forget about the future, you can't predict it. Forget about the present, I didn't get you one. A true friend remembers your birthday but not your age. Artificial intelligence is a wonderful thing. and it said I needed an upgrade.No one asked for this. It’s a shiny piece of metal that combines two German favorites: cash and bratwurst with curry sauce. This seemingly priceless combination can be yours for just €13 ($14.90), thanks to the Staatliche Münze Berlin, a mi...The first one says, "I'll have a pint of blood.". The second one says, "I'll have one, too.". The third one says, "I'll have a pint of plasma.". The bartender says, "So, that'll be two Bloods and a Blood Lite?". 4. How many other jokes can one make off 'Man walks into a bar?'? A man walks into a bar and orders a beer.

The following are bible verses for 70th birthday: 1. Deuteronomy 33:25: "Thy shoes shall be iron and brass; and as thy days, so shall thy strength be. ". 2. Psalm 90:10 (NIV): "Our days may come to seventy years, or eighty, if our strength endures; yet the best of them are but trouble and sorrow, for they quickly pass, and we fly away.". 3.It is better to be one year older than one month late. Happy birthday! I wonder why you are celebrating the fact that you're turning older. Nevertheless, I will attend your birthday party. Happy birthday! Happy birthday to you and your newest chin. I hate surprises, so I really hope you have good food at your party.Check out our 70th birthday joke selection for the very best in unique or custom, handmade pieces from our shops.Seventieth birthdays are significant with respect to Social Security benefits. Although individuals can begin to claim their Social Security benefits at age 62, there are advantages to waiting to claim benefits until reaching full-retirement age--between the ages of 65 to 67, depending on year of birth. For each year claimants wait past their ...

Skyrim ingot id.

Funny Birthday Limericks: Get the Party Going with These Fun Little Poems! The person who made up the first funny birthday limericks may be a mystery, but the result is undeniable: hilarious, sometimes bawdy poetry that gets everybody laughing with the victim - er - lucky lad or lass having a birthday. Limericks are great for Irish birthday ...Men's Funny Birthday T Shirt Beer Me It's My Birthday Shirt Humor Joke 21st 30th 40th 50th 60th 70th 80th Gift For Him Unisex Tee Man (16.3k) Sale Price $ ... Age Joke Rude Birthday Card For Mom Dad, 50th 60th 70th 80th Birthday Card (11.9k) Sale Price $5.99 $ 5.99 $ 7.49 Original Price $7.49 ...Mar 14, 2020 - Maxine Birthday. See more ideas about maxine, birthday, birthday humor. The little silver haired lady says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster." Her neighbor decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter ...The little silver haired lady says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster." Her neighbor decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter ...Jul 11, 2017 - Explore Alice Adler's board "70th Birthday Funny Quotes" on Pinterest. See more ideas about 70th birthday, funny quotes, birthday.

For his 70th birthday, one of his students gave the zen master a big box with a ribbon around it. When the master opened the box, he found that there was nothing inside. "Aha," he exclaimed, "just what I wanted!" upvote downvote report. A big list of 70th birthday jokes! 9 of them, in fact! Sourced from Reddit, Twitter, and beyond!Mar 4, 2016 - Explore Cindy Greenlaw's board "Birthday skit", followed by 229 people on Pinterest. See more ideas about skits, birthday songs, happy birthday video.21 With 49 Years Experience 70th Birthday Card | Funny 70th Birthday Card | Instant Download Printable Card. (582) $2.93. Funny 70th birthday SVG png. Turning 70 birthday svg cut Files, 70 years old svg cut file for cricut. 70th birthday png svg cassette clipart. (6.2k)Hilarious birthday jokes about getting old Birthday jokes about getting old. Photo: Klaus Vedfelt Source: Getty Images. Old age jokes for birthday celebrations make the event memorable. Cheer your loved ones with these humorous jokes; 36. You know you are getting old when you have more candles on your cake than friends at your birthday …100+ Hysterically Funny Happy Birthday Memes of 2022. by TheBirthdayBest. Birthday gifts, greeting cards, and parties are great. But birthday memes are life! Memes are a lighthearted and creative way to greet your closest friends and family on their birthday. Heck, send birthday memes even to your co-workers if you’re really tight.High quality Funny 70th Birthday Quote-inspired gifts and merchandise. T-shirts, posters, stickers, home decor, and more, designed and sold by independent artists around the world. ... Funny Birthday Sarcastic Joke saying Gift Tri-blend T-Shirt. By InfinityFlip. $28.73. Tags: 21th, 30th, 40th, 50th, 60th, 70th, funny, cool, quote, saying.Here, you’re free to be funny, quirky, or reflective as possible with your words. Below are a few examples that should guide you on what to say to this special friend. ... May your 70th birthday be the best ever in your life! At 70 years, you are not officially an old person, my friend. Therefore, I pray that the next 30 years of your life ...What Are Some Good Toasts for a 70th Birthday? Good birthday toasts involve a celebration of the birthday person and are personable, historical, funny and charming. Toasts are best given in a spirit of thankfulness and honesty, ultimately championing the birthday individual rather than the speaker. Writing the perfect toast is a daunting task ...Wishing you the happiest 70th birthday! #13 Happy 70th birthday to the funniest, kindest friend I could ever ask for. Wishing you another 70 years of sweet blessings. #14 Another year around the sun! Happy 70th birthday to the friend who floods our life with sunshine and happiness every day.\. #15 Today's the big day!70th Birthday Gifts for Women Men - 1953 Old Time Information - 70th Birthday Mug - 70th Birthday For Her & Him - Unique Funny 70th Bday Gift Idea - Milestone Birthday - 12oz - Rose Gold. Rose Gold. 3. $1199 ($1.00/Fl Oz) FREE delivery Mon, Oct 16 on $35 of items shipped by Amazon. Or fastest delivery Fri, Oct 13. Speeches - If you're giving a speech at a 70th birthday party, incorporate some funny quotes into your remarks. It's a great way to entertain the audience and make the guest of honor feel special. Personalizing gifts - Use a funny quote about turning 70 to personalize a gift for someone. For example, you could put a quote on a mug, t ...

Check out our funny 70th birthday gifts selection for the very best in unique or custom, handmade pieces from our shops. Get £10 off EVERYTHING. Min. £40 order. Ends 11/10. Code: YES10. ... Funny Joke 70 Year Old Care Label Package Instructions Advice Motif For 70th Birthday Anniversary Greeting Card Size A6 or A5

54. My doctor doesn’t want me to go to yoga anymore. He thinks I self- meditate too much. 55. “Say you’re a bad girl”. I’m a bad girl. “oooh yeah, and tell me what bad girls do…”. I’m gonna sign up for 3 months of yoga and only go twice. . . 56.You can make their 70th birthday stand out by creating a personalized space rich in memories and festivity. From their favorite photos, to fun 70th birthday party decorations, to themed tributes from loved ones: you can choose from a variety of creative 70th birthday party ideas below. 1. Then & Now Party Invites.Birthday Knock Knock Jokes List of 22 Birthday Knock Knock Jokes. Discover our hilarious collection of knock-knock jokes about birthdays! Celebrate with our birthday knock-knock jokes, sure to entertain children, teens, and adults. Unwrap the gift of laughter with these comical quips, making every day feel like your special day.The little silver haired lady says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster." Her neighbor decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter ...Funny 60th Birthday Quotes. “Age is a high price to pay for maturity.”. – Tom Stoppard. “The first 60 years of childhood are always the hardest!”. – Unknown. “The advantage of being 60 years old is that you’ve had a chance to accumulate a lot of happy memories. The disadvantage is that your hard drive is getting full!”. Here are some 70th funny birthday card messages: 70 and still rocking, just a bit more gently! 70 is the new 50… in Celsius! Age 70: where 'getting lucky' means finding your glasses. 70 years young and still misbehaving! Happy 70th! Just remember, you're not old, you're a classic! What Do You Say For A 70th Birthday?A husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th anniversary. The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting a headstone that reads: 'Here lies my wife, cold as ever'." "Yeah," she replies, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone reading: 'Here lies my husband, stiff at last." -Sacha Guitry.A: Open the fridge, put the giraffe in, and close the fridge. Q: What are the four steps to putting an elephant in the fridge? A: Open the fridge, take the giraffe out, put the elephant in, and close the fridge. Q: Today is the lion king's birthday party. All animals except for one arrive.Circular logo with elegant number design. congratulations to the 70th birthday. congratulations on the 70th birthday. of 7. Search from 368 Happy 70th Birthday stock photos, pictures and royalty-free images from iStock. Find high-quality stock photos that you won't find anywhere else.

Cece winans grandchildren.

Pike county ohio jail.

70th Birthday Jokes That Are Sure To Make You Smile. Turning 70 is a momentous occasion that deserves to be celebrated with some laughter. Whether you're looking for jokes to share with the birthday honoree or just need some funny age-related humor to enjoy, this collection of 70th birthday jokes is sure to bring a smile.3. Party like it's the 1950s. 4. Favorite Things. Tips for planning a 70th birthday bash. 5. Send festive (and foolproof) invitations. 6. Make every guest feel comfortable.1. Why didn’t anyone say happy birthday to the owl? Because it didn’t give a hoot. 2. Did you know that birthdays are good for your health? It’s a scientific fact: People who have more ...Apr 10, 2023 · 1. What’s the secret to having a smoking hot body as a senior? Cremation. 2. What is a prize old people can win for aging? Atrophy. 3. I used to know a couple who grew fruit trees together. They... Hilarious birthday Jokes in Hindi में आज देखेंगे Best Collection of funny birthday jokes, jokes in Hindi, birthday gift, husband-wife jokes, पति, पत्नी जोक्स, Humor News in Hindi, Jokes News in Hindi, Jokes Hindi to share it on Social media, like LinkedIn Facebook, Twitter, Whatsapp, etc.. Happy birthday jokes in hindi:Apr 20, 2023 - Explore Kay Kerr's board "Maxine & Elder Jokes", followed by 203 people on Pinterest. See more ideas about humor, jokes, maxine.07/04/2023 ... 100 Funny Quotes About Being 70 Years Old · “I may be 70, but I still have the heart of a teenager.” · “70 isn't old, it's just seasoned to ...Happy anniversary to my wife! To keep your marriage strong and your wife happy, admit it whenever you're wrong and shut up whenever you're right. Happy anniversary to my wife, by the way! "I love you more than carbs but less than cheese!". "One year down, freaking forever to go. Happy anniversary.". "Happy Anniversary!So don’t forget to vote for these lame puns and tell us which ones did you like the most! #1. Forget about the past, you can’t change it. Forget about the future, you can’t predict it. Forget about the present, I didn’t get you one. Report. 76 points. POST.Happy birthday, cousin! You’re aging like a fine wine, just like George Clooney. Wishing my cousin a happy birthday! May your day be as magical as Harry Potter’s first trip to Hogwarts. Happy birthday to my favorite cousin! May your day be as legendary as Beyoncé’s halftime show at the Super Bowl.Score: 11. A 30 year old man is playing the newest Pokémon game when he hears, "you shouldn't be playing that..." He quickly responded, "Forgive me, Father, but the 90s are over." Score: 1. A 40 year old man goes to buy a car.... and all he can afford is a …Posted in 70th Birthday Wishes | Comments Off on Funny Birthday Wishes for 75 year old Woman. Birthday Wishes to 75 year old Man. I've turned seventy five a load of times! So let's pull out the rum and wines! ... 70th Birthday wishes for a friend You've got 70 years of living under your belt And 70 years of giving we've all felt ... ….

The uncoated side will absorb more of the ink from your pen to make smudging a thing of the past. 70th birthday card funny, nephew birthday card joke, niece birthday cards sarcasm, son birthday card adult. SIZES: Greeting Card = 5.7 Inch x 5.7 Inch, Envelope = 6.1 Inch x 6.1 Inch, Card Weight 300gsm, Card Thickness = 360 micron. Great son or ...Additionally, he felt that his joke was quite funny, and wanted to make sure that he got a chance to present it to the tortoise before the tortoise was tired of laughing. He nervously approached the podium, and presented his material. ... For their 70th birthday they go to the Lakeview restaurant because it's wheelchair accessible.Score: 11. A 30 year old man is playing the newest Pokémon game when he hears, "you shouldn't be playing that..." He quickly responded, "Forgive me, Father, but the 90s are over." Score: 1. A 40 year old man goes to buy a car.... and all he can afford is a …Funny Birthday Card 50th 60th 70th for Husband, Dad, Uncle, Male Friend, Old Aged Birthday Card. NobleWorks - 1 Funny Happy Birthday Notecard - Old Man Humor Greeting Card with Envelope - Man's Senility Prayer C9348BDG. Add to Cart . Add to Cart . Add to Cart . Add to Cart . Add to Cart .Funny Joke 70 Year Old Action Figure Posable Jointed Doll Motif with Slogans For 70th Birthday Anniversary Greeting Card Size A6 or A5 ... Funny 70th Birthday Card, Funny Trump 70th Birthday Card, Hilarious 70 Years Old Birthday Card, Funny Trump Birthday Card 2020 Elections (7.6k) $ 6.99 ...Patient: "Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake." Doctor: "Next time, take off the candles." One liner tags: birthday, doctor. 78.78 % / 576 votes. When I was young, I always felt like a male trapped in a females body. Then I was born. One liner tags: age, attitude, birthday, puns, women.Happy birthday to you! Dad, I love you. I also just want to wish that... you keep your wallet open for your loving daughter/son. Enjoy this special day. Happy birthday! Dad, I think it may be time to ditch your lighter. You need to have a flamethrower for lighting so many candles. Happy birthday, old man!Happy birdie-day! I know, bad pun (almost as bad as your golf game). 3. Birthdays are like golfing – it’s a lot more fun if you don’t keep count. 4. You’re not “over the hill”, you’re on the “back nine”. Happy birthday! 5. … 70th birthday jokes funnies, Funny Sayings for a 70th Birthday. Here are ten funny sayings to add a touch of humor to a 70th birthday celebration. ... 50 Funny Jokes for Old Ladies. Humor has no age limit, and there's something truly delightful about sharing a good laugh with the older ladies in our lives. Whether it's our grandmothers, great-aunts, or family friends ..., Circular logo with elegant number design. congratulations to the 70th birthday. congratulations on the 70th birthday. of 7. Search from 368 Happy 70th Birthday stock photos, pictures and royalty-free images from iStock. Find high-quality stock photos that you won't find anywhere else., Check out our funny 70th birthday card for women selection for the very best in unique or custom, handmade pieces from our birthday cards shops. Etsy. Search for items or shops ... Funny Joke 70 Year Old Care Label Package Instructions Advice Motif For 70th Birthday Anniversary Greeting Card Size A6 or A5, Birthday Jokes. Birthdays are nature's way of telling us to eat more cake. Forget about the past, you can't change it. Forget about the future, you can't predict it. Forget about the present, I didn't get you one. A true friend remembers your birthday but not your age. Artificial intelligence is a wonderful thing. and it said I needed an upgrade., 1. What’s the secret to having a smoking hot body as a senior? Cremation. 2. What is a prize old people can win for aging? Atrophy. 3. I used to know a couple who grew fruit trees together. They..., Check out our 70th birthday joke selection for the very best in unique or custom, handmade pieces from our shops., May 17, 2019 · You can make their 70th birthday stand out by creating a personalized space rich in memories and festivity. From their favorite photos, to fun 70th birthday party decorations, to themed tributes from loved ones: you can choose from a variety of creative 70th birthday party ideas below. 1. Then & Now Party Invites. , Celebrate in style with this funny 70th birthday joke SVG/PNG digital cutting file. It's a simple, fun way to show your loved one that you care about them ..., Jul 11, 2017 - Explore Alice Adler's board "70th Birthday Funny Quotes" on Pinterest. See more ideas about 70th birthday, funny quotes, birthday., Score: 11. A 30 year old man is playing the newest Pokémon game when he hears, "you shouldn't be playing that..." He quickly responded, "Forgive me, Father, but the 90s are over." Score: 1. A 40 year old man goes to buy a car.... and all he can afford is a …, BYOT - Bring Your Own Teeth A student of the zen master gave him a large box with a ribbon around it for his 70th birthday. The master found nothing inside the box when he opened it. "Exactly what I wanted," he exclaimed. Three women share a birthday and celebrate it together., Check out our 70th birthday jokes selection for the very best in unique or custom, handmade pieces from our shops., As we celebrate a milestone birthday, its only fitting to commemorate the occasion with a good laugh. Turning 70 might seem daunting to some, but its a time to look back on a life well-lived and embrace the joys of the golden years. So, if youre trying to come up with some funny 70th birthday wishes for a loved one, friend, or colleague, weve got some great ideas to help you get started., Looking for the ideal 70Th Birthday Jokes, Rhymes Wall Art to express yourself? Come check out our giant selection & find yours today., For a friend or loved one who has both an upcoming birthday to celebrate and – importantly – a great sense of humor, here are over a hundred old age jokes for birthday cards. 101 Old Age Jokes for …, Happy birthday! Today is your birthday, And you feel pretty good, Your body's still working, You should really touch wood. Your hair is just a bit grey, Your wrinkles few and far between, You may not look 18 anymore, Still you get pimples like a teen. I'm glad you feel as fresh as ever, Despite the fact you're getting ripe, You say you have 20/20 vision, Yet you read books with large type., A widower, on his retirement, purchased a house situated near a high school. He spent the first few weeks of his retirement in peace, then the new school year began. One afternoon early into the first semester, three young boys came down the street, beating merrily on every bin they passed. , Maybe you are 70 years old, but you can make every grandchild of yours happy with your funny stories and jokes. Happy Birthday! Funny 70th Birthday Messages. 70-year-olds are always funny. They tell jokes, play with kids, and even sing at family gatherings. So whatever funny word you say, it will undoubtedly leave a sweet impression in their heart., Seventieth birthdays are significant with respect to Social Security benefits. Although individuals can begin to claim their Social Security benefits at age 62, there are advantages to waiting to claim benefits until reaching full-retirement age--between the ages of 65 to 67, depending on year of birth. For each year claimants wait past their ..., Jun 22, 2015 · If you know the best-of-the-best Jewish joke, and it is in good taste, add the joke to the comments, and let the fun continue. L'Chaim. * * * * *. A Jewish father was very troubled by the way his son turned out and went to see his rabbi about it. "Rabbi, I brought him up in the faith, gave him a very expensive Bar Mitzvah and it cost me a ... , Apr 26, 2022 - Explore Jennifer Price's board "Afrikaans Jokes" on Pinterest. See more ideas about afrikaans, jokes, afrikaanse quotes., Funny 70th Birthday Gifts - I Am 69 Plus Middle Finger Coffee Mug - Gag Novelty Cup - Seventieth Birthday Party - Adult Birthday Presents (11oz, black handle) 4.8 out of 5 stars 367 1 offer from $18.99, Happy birthday!". "Happy birthday to a brother who is smart, funny, witty, charming… and reminds me a lot of myself!". "The funny thing about you is that even though you age, your maturity level always stays the same! Happy birthday brother!". "Thank you for ruining every childhood photo of ours., Mar 14, 2020 - Maxine Birthday. See more ideas about maxine, birthday, birthday humor. , Funny 70th Birthday Card, Hilarious 70 Years Old Birthday Card for Friends, Dad, Mom, Brother, Sister. 4.8 out of 5 stars 1,088. 600+ bought in past month. ... Big 3D Funny Old Man Joke Happy Birthday Greeting Card - Great Happy Bday Gift for Men | for him - Dad, Daddy, Brother, Husband, Boyfriend, bf or male friend | 30th 40th 50th 60th 70th ..., Check out our funny 75th birthday selection for the very best in unique or custom, handmade pieces from our greeting cards shops. ... 65th, 70th, 75th, 80+ Birthday Card, Personalise, Handmade in the UK (1.4k) $ 6.76. Add to Favorites Poker 75th birthday svg, 75th svg, Old Number 75 svg, 75th Cut File for Cricut, Aged to Perfection svg ..., WINK: Go on! BIG: … with lots of windows …. WINK: Keep going! BIG: … there are many people in there doing the same thing over and over …. WINK: That sounds like a pickle factory! BIG: … and there's always a lot of grunting and barking …. WINK: OK, could be a pet store! BIG: … but most of all, I remember the snoring., Happy birthday to the man who lived his life with utmost passion and only gave love to everyone he came across. Happy 70th birthday. Hope you rock and roll in your 70s, too. Happy 70th birthday! May you always stay happy and healthy! Happy 70th birthday to the cutest woman, who still looks like a 40-year-old., Funny 70th Birthday Card, 69+1 women Or Men Sweet 70 Years Old Birthday Gift Joke Card. 4.9 out of 5 stars 16. ... Asmallgf Funny 70th Birthday Card for Husband Wife, Cheers To 70 Year Old Gifts for Women Men, Giant 1953 Card for Mom Dad, Good 70 Bday Gift Idea for Sister Brother, Back In 1953 ..., 47. To my sister who always calls to check on me, I am wishing you a very happy 70th birthday. You're the best sister in the world, and I'm very sure that God planted you in my life for a reason. You have never regretted having me as your sister, and you never will. Make sure you have a good time, today., As we celebrate a milestone birthday, its only fitting to commemorate the occasion with a good laugh. Turning 70 might seem daunting to some, but its a time to look back on a life well-lived and embrace the joys of the golden years. So, if youre trying to come up with some funny 70th birthday wishes for a loved one, friend, or colleague, weve got some great ideas to help you get started., Present for Your Wife - 70th Birthday Jokes. One morning, Roger is reminded by his secretary that it his wife's 70th birthday. At lunch, Roger goes to the local shopping mall and tries to find a gift for her. Upon passing a lingerie store, Roger realizes that his wife has never bought any lingerie in her life., Beyonce's birthday list: 1) The (former) planet Pluto 2) Maybach factory 3) The Taj Mahal 4) Lost city of Atlantis 5) Facebook. The number one cause of depression in people over 30 is hearing co-workers resentfully sing, "Happy Birthday" just to get cake.