Aug 31, 2023 · Alternatively, you can add it to an Instagram caption to make people smile or write it on a Post-It for a pick-me-up. 1. Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” —Thomas Eddison. 2. “If you’re going to be thinking, you may as well think big.” —Donald Trump. 3. Feb 1, 2021 · Mitch Hedberg A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists. Don Marquis “People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.” – A. A. Milne Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt. Abraham Lincoln If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one? Abraham Lincoln CUSTOM Slogan ADULT BIB Cotton, Clothes Cover, Fun Car Bib Clothing Protection Adult-sized, Funny Saying, Humorous Bib, Gag Gift (3.7k) $ 20.882. 9 out of 10 voices in my head say that I’m crazy. The tenth is humming. 3. A bag of money can be a symbol not only of wealth, but also of tremendous inflation. 5. 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Lewis. 33. “The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires.”.Funny Short Sayings To Brighten Up Your Day. “Worry is a misuse of your imagination.”. ― Anonymous. 104 Funny Short Sayings To Brighten Up Your Day | wise funny quotes, funny and clever quotes, comedy quotes. “To the people who lose one shoe on the side of the highway: Please tell me what the rest of your life is like.”.Funny Quotes. facebook; twitter; googleplus; Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience. Mark Twain. Inspirational, Life, Hilarious. 2547 Copy quote. Light travels faster than sound. 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Every time you conquer a task, another one pops up.”. “Adulting is just like trying to assemble IKEA furniture without the ... 11. “I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.”. — David Lee Roth. 12. “Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see ...101 Funny Insults. 1. The closest you'll come to a brainstorm is a light drizzle. UnSplash. 2. You look smarter in pictures. UnSplash. 3. Honestly, I'm just impressed you could read this.Apr 10, 2023 · 7. Old age makes us great multitaskers. Why, I can sneeze and pee at the same time! 8. One benefit of old age is that your secrets are always safe with your friends … because they can’t ... If you ever wondered what kind of funny catchphrases you could use in a conversation with your friends, the options are limitless. Here on this list, gathered today …101 Funny Insults. 1. The closest you'll come to a brainstorm is a light drizzle. UnSplash. 2. You look smarter in pictures. 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St. Patrick's Day puns that totally sham-rock. Fall puns that are a gourd play on words. Frightfully funny Halloween puns guaranteed to lift everyone ...These 101 best funny puns are everything: bad puns, great puns, hilarious, stupid and just funny, short puns to get a good laugh!. 101 Best Bad Funny Puns. 1. Why did Adele cross the road? To say ...31. “Good words are worth much, and cost little.”. - George Herbert. 32. “True humility is not thinking less of yourself: it is thinking of yourself less.”. - C.S. Lewis. 33. “The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires.”.4. Get someone’s goat. via GIPHY. When you get (or steal) a goat owned by somebody else, of course that person would get mad. But the origin of this idiom is far more interesting than that. This expression actually comes from horse-racing where goats are used to have a calming effect on thoroughbred horses.Milton Berle. “Christmas is a box of tree ornaments that have become part of the family.”—. Charles M. Schulz. “It’s easier to feel a little more spiritual with a couple of bucks in your pocket.”. — Craig Ferguson. “I love Christmas. I receive a lot of wonderful presents I can’t wait to exchange.”. — Henny Youngman.Aug 31, 2023 · Alternatively, you can add it to an Instagram caption to make people smile or write it on a Post-It for a pick-me-up. 1. Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” —Thomas Eddison. 2. “If you’re going to be thinking, you may as well think big.” —Donald Trump. 3. When you stop believing in Santa is when you start getting underwear! You have such a pretty face, you should be on a Christmas card! — Elf. Time to get your “It’s just what I wanted” face on! You’re the reason Santa even has a naughty list. Well, I guess I could use a little… social interaction. — Grinch.Peter: “I wouldn't say I've been missing it, Bob.” —Bob (Paul Wilson) and Peter (Ron Livingston), Office Space. “I am a friend of the working man, and I would rather be his friend, than be one.”. — Clarence Darrow. “The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.”. — Oscar Wilde.36 Funny Graduation Quotes to Share in 2023 "You will never have more energy or enthusiasm, hair, or brain cells than you have today." Leah Hall Updated: Apr 23, 2023. ... "Graduation day is tough for adults. They go to the ceremony as parents. They come home as contemporaries. After twenty-two years of child-raising, they are …31. “Good words are worth much, and cost little.”. - George Herbert. 32. “True humility is not thinking less of yourself: it is thinking of yourself less.”. - C.S. Lewis. 33. “The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires.”.Funny sarcastic t shirts, funny shirt sayings, adult humor shirt, funny sayings shirt, inappropriate shirt, offensive shirt, rude shirts. (271) $19.08. AD/HD Highway to...Hey Look Squirrel! Svg, Motivational Svg, Funny Mom Svg, Funny Women T-Shirt SVG, Rocker Mom Svg, Mom Life Svg, Rock Svg. (4.2k) $2.43.Dec 16, 2023 · Hope you have a remember-forever-and-ever-and-ever-and-ever kind of holiday. Wishing you the gifts of the season — Peace, Joy, and Cabernet Sauvignon. But first, let me take an elfie. Christmas comes but once a year, but when it comes, it’d better bring good beer. Answer: C-P- arrrrrrr. 2. What do you call a pirate who likes to skip school? Answer: Captain Hook-y! 3. What does a pirate name his dog? Answer: The Plank. That's why he's always walking The Plank.Nothing says love like a good joke. Take this one, for instance: For Valentine’s Day I asked Cupid for a million dollars. Cupid said, “Get real.”. So I replied, “OK, I want a boyfriend ...120 Best Jokes for Adults (Clean, Edgy, Dark or Dirty) ... [with Funny Duck Memes] 130 Funniest Mexican Jokes & Memes [All-Time Leaderboard] 100 Most Sexist Jokes To Make You Laugh (For Men & Women) 130 Best Dirty Jokes of All-Time [With Exclusive Jokes!] The 100 Best Indian Jokes & Memes ... 110 Simple Life Quotes to …
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